To those of you who were hoping that I was going to wear my thong/shower cap from the Malagasy massage to our massage today, you’ll be sad to hear that it disintegrated after I sat on it for too long.
This post will focus on brevity, unlike the conversation we were trapped in downstairs. Today consisted of waking up late, eating a huge breakfast, lounging about, having massages, dominos, and dinner. For breakfast, Josef and I enjoyed our eggs benedict so much that we ordered two more orders, which was very annoying to the wait staff trying to close the kitchen. Honestly, the second serving with spit in it was tastier than the first.
We rotated who was getting massages and who was hanging out by the fire like Hemingway, and we feel like new men. I totally get my Mr. Krabs wanted to be alone that time he was molting his shell, we too looked disgusting, but now we are fresh and new. Unlike the massagies on our previous Asia trip, this masseuse was over 51% female, and the jasmine oil was not too deep in any crevices.
In the evening, the boys realized that we shocked the entire staff by being young, male, white Americans who were the quietest, most reserved guests without their phones. All others were too busy either fighting, doing something that sounded like fighting in their rooms, or sampling every liquor available. Some people just need to grow up (I say after making a thong joke).
We were kindly told that the travel agency has, once again, booked a day of transit for us beginning at 5:30 am. At least we’re not in Asia where, “I pick up at 3:30 in morning. We drive 5 hour to airport. We wait 15 minutes. We drive back to hotel. Good practice for flight tomorrow [Chinese accent].”
Turning on stealth like one of the 2 million chameleons we saw in Madagascar, we tried to sneak upstairs to get ready for bed after dinner. Unfortunately, we were more like fat Hans “hiding” behind a tree with a diameter of 8 inches. Sweetie, that doesn’t cover even half of your 38 inch, easy-fit waist. Therefore, we were trapped talking to a South African couple who had refused to speak with each other all night because the woman was on the phone in the restaurant and the man was playing Candy Crush, and we gently had to excuse ourselves after the lady’s riveting tale of a power outage. I’m sorry, we have to go sit on our beds with the weird sacks of warm water on our bums. Toodles.
Please check out our fantastic drone prawn below. Hermanus is beautiful, and Josef did an awesome job.
With relaxed muscles and a steady supply of drone prawn,
Christian, “That’s an interesting story about a power outage,” Josef “Yep I hate when the power goes out,” and Hans “Are these people still talking to us?” Braunfisch